Now on Netflix Streaming, Horror !
spring forward, 2014 edition
*** This is a public service announcement***
The ugly truth – stay away from these dumb and dumber ‘wanna be’ horror flix!
Axe Giant: The Wrath of Paul Bunyan (2013)
The first scene in this film is Grizzly Adams getting his head split on a CGI lumber saw, complete with CGI blood splashing about in all its glory. Another bad CGI Syfy feature with paper cut-out characters and a lame plot.
Opening titles were done on someone’s MAC in their bedroom, circa 1995. A Ouija Board brings forth a big supernatural ape who partially possesses a woman and hides in miles of underground caves beneath a suburban town. Did you hear what I said? A supernatural Ape! (WTF?)
I tried to watch this several times and it was just blasé. Perhaps you’ll have better luck with it, but I doubt it. Features a pre-teen, Elisha Cuthbert.
(not to get confused with Breeders – 1986) A meteor lands at a woman’s college and births a monster and a vixen. The vixen runs around in an outfit left over from the set of Mad Max. The monster plods around in a costume that is apparently too heavy for the actor to even move. No breeding or mating ever happens in this film – disappointment ensues.
This film wants so bad to be Shawn of the Dead. Lame jokes, lame zombies, lame movie!
100 Ghost Street: the Return of Richard Speck (2010)
Another terrible FFFF film – Found Footage Film Fodder. Don’t you love when they purposely bounce and shake the camera around, because no one knows – not even amateurs – that you should try and keep a camera steady when recording. Seriously, I’m getting dizzy.
In the interest of fair-play, here are some good movies currently being offered on Netflix Streaming. Watch these instead!
Silence of the Lambs, Tales from the Darkside: the Movie, Dead End, Satan’s Little Helper, Trapped Ashes, ParaNorman, Darkness Falls, Pet Sematary, Devil, Fright Night (1985), Evil Dead 2, A Haunting in Connecticut, They, Creepshow 2,
And for some oldies but goodies:
Black Sabbath, The Angry Red Planet, House on Haunted Hill, and The Blood Beast Terror.