The Top 5 Horror Movie Remakes

The Top 5 Horror Movie Remakes

I’m not one of those prudes who think all old classic movies should be in a shrine and never be remade or revisited. I can like both, the original and the remake for different reasons and want to watch and enjoy both of them. But lets face it, most remakes are horrible and should have never been made. Yet, I do find some that I really like.

To me, there are only three reasons to do a remake.

1 – special effects improvements – advancements in film and effects technology will make the film visually appealing to a modern audience.

2 – expand the storyline – modernizing a film and bring it to date with the moods, opinions, and conscience of the changing world views.

3 – make a better film – an old b-movie can often be remade into a summer blockbuster or serious representative of its genre.

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The 5 Best Remakes in the last 50 years

I like all the originals of the following films, so I guess great concepts, ideas, and scripts also produce better remakes.

1 – The Thing (1982)
Excellent FX improvements and tweaking to the story made a taut thriller and monster movie combined. This is probably one of the most successful remakes ever made because of both, acceptance from horror/sci-fi film buffs and theater/dvd sales.

 

2 – Maniac (2013)
The truth is, the original was watchable but not ‘best in class.’ This remake with Elijah Woods gave me newfound respect for his acting abilities and reignited my faith in the slasher genre. Shot in first person POV, the real horrors are when the young ladies realize there’s something not quite right with this man and their expressions go from playfully sexy to sheer terror.

 

3 – Dawn of the Dead (2004)
Its like zombie-fan heaven in this movie. Any variation of a zombie and zombie scenario you can think of was in this film: zombie baby, fat-lady zombie, a twitcher, giving birth to a zombie, zombie baby, little girl zombies, fast zombies, slow zombies, gunning down zombies, the zombie tank-truck, exploding zombies, mall zombies… great FX, make-up and script!

 

4 – Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2003)
Excellent pacing, horrific visuals and tense chase scenes. Loved the way they fleshed-out the characters in the beginning of the film, dialogue and acting seemed very natural. I love the original but this one has even more action and thrills.

 

5 – The Fly (1986)
Took the classic 50s sci-fi horror staple and dosed it with steroids. Heartbreaking love story between Seth Brundle (Jeff Goldblum) and Veronica (Gina Davis). This is such a great version. If you haven’t seen this in a while, revisit. Still an excellent film.

 

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Honorable mentions:

The Blob (1988)
Thankfully made before the CGI boom, the creature in this film is fast moving and fluid. See? You can do practical effects of abstract creatures – it just takes a little work and brainpower, rather than just handing it over to the CG department. The amoeba-like killer grows to monstrous proportions and eats a town.

 

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
The real and likable characters portrayed by, Donald Sutherland, Brooke Adams and Jeff Goldblum are exceptional. You can’t help but root for their escape as the world goes mad around them. Coupled with some great special-effects, cinematography, and sound track (effects and music), the remake is a solid, must-see film.

 

Willard (2003)
Crispin Glover excels as the dark, gothic, twisted, King of Rats! I did like Ernest Borgnine’s portrayal as Willard’s Boss in the original, but the film was slow-moving. This took a mediocre film and made it into a gothic horror fright-fest.

 

Stay tuned for the Top 5 Worst Horror Remakes coming next post!

The Remake Scoreboard – classic film remakes – pass or fail

The Remake Scoreboard – classic film remakes – pass or fail

Haven’t done one of these in a while, so let’s compare some remakes to the originals.

Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (remake – 1993) (original 1958)

The original is a 50’s sci-fi classic, exemplifying the fears of the unknown at the time. Roswell had just happened a few years prior, the US was starting its space program and science was making discoveries in leaps and bounds. It also demonstrated the ill effects of a love triangle. The remake started out good with a nice looking UFO in the desert and the resulting gigantism, but soon got overburdened with relationship issues. And I was figuring on a remake using some special effects advancement to create some real havoc and destruction. This was made a year after Jurassic Park and this movie used the same masking techniques as the original 1958 film! I don‘t get it?  Daryl Hannah’s 50 foot woman was just too nice and dainty. There was far more anger and destruction in the original.

Night of the Demons (remake 2009) (original 1988)

Thumbs up with an explanation

The original film despite its campy, teen-party qualities had some creeped-out and scary parts. The make-up and FX conjured shadows of the Exorcist, as Angela became possessed and dished out the nasty demise of her friends. Her first appearance in that black ‘wedding’ gown, floating toward her classmates was a classic visual scene. The remake had neither the charm nor the scares of the original. However, the remake is watchable and had some great make-up effects. I just found the characters to be more on the annoying side and didn’t care much when they were killed. Despite that, I’m giving this a thumbs up for the make-up effects. Its not better than the original, but worth a watch.

The Toolbox Murders (remake 2004) (original 1978)

The original Toolbox Murders was a definitive Grindhouse slasher, which showed a lot of naked women being killed. There is even a scene with a woman pleasuring herself in a bathtub as the killer looks on through a crack in the door, right before he nails her to a wall with a nail-gun. It is considered one of the forerunners to the slasher-films that would dominate horror in the 1980’s and had been banned in the UK as one of the Video Nasties for its violent content. The remake was a completely different story, different characters, different ideas, with some unique and original themes and concepts. So, it just boggles my mind, why they wouldn’t give this film its own title and let it stand on its own merits. It was directed by Tobe Hooper and stars Angela Bettis, who‘s acting talents are clearly evident in this film. It is a really entertaining film for the horror/slasher fan, but it will forever be relegated to standing in the shadow of the original. Neither film gets a high rating from critics but I like them both. I give a thumb up to the remake as a stand-alone movie.

The Hitcher (remake 2007) (original 1986)

The original with Rutger Hauer was a tense thriller that kept me on the edge of my seat. Before that time, serial killers were always shown in the dark, said little, and their intentions were a secret until they sprang into action. Hauer’s psycho killer was a taunting, menacing, sadist who enjoyed the sparring and inflicted pain in slow but efficient measure. The remake was so ineffective that I had forgotten that I had ever seen it. It certainly had some new ways to die, but I felt no empathy for the victims. I have more emotional involvement watching a video on “Potato Farmers of the Northeast.”

previous ‘Remake Scoreboard’ post

Evil Dead (2013) – Movie Review – part 3

Evil Dead (2013)  – Movie Review – part 3

Aka: 50 reasons why the new Evil Dead Movie SUCKS! Part 3

***This review is a total spoiler, please do not read if you intend to see the film. ***

This post contains Reasons 41 – 50, on why the new Evil Dead movie sucks!

If you haven’t read reasons 1 – 26, click here:
Evil Dead  Remake sucks reasons 1 – 26

If you haven’t read reasons 27 – 40, click here:
Evil Dead  Remake sucks reasons 27 – 40

Reasons 41 thru 50 are visual comparisons. Very simple. Pic the one that looks scarier, more grotesque, more atmospheric. Pic the one that you would take with you to the desert island if you could only take one.

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The Necronomicon:

Winner: Evil Dead 1981

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The Cabin

Winner: Evil Dead 1981

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Deadite in the Cellar

Big eyes – vs. – No eyes

Winner: Evil Dead 1981 – no eyes or just whites is always scarier

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Removing limbs

Winner: Evil Dead 1981

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Hero /Heroine

 　

Heroin Heroine – vs. – love struck loser

Winner: Love Struck Loser

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Bloody Hero

 

The new guy – vs. – Ash

Winner: Ash, come on!

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Motivation

　

I did it for my sister – vs. – I did it for love

Winner: Ash

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Possessed girl number 2

 

Crawling friend – vs. – ugly possessed sister

Winner: Evil Dead 1981 – possessed sister’s face is just disturbing

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Friends in need

　

Friend turns into a whining bitch
– vs. –
Friend turns into a snaggle-toothed demon

No contest ! 1981

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Deadite in the cellar – pic 2

Both creepy looking but…

Winner: Evil Dead 1981 – Crusty, no-eyed, blue-face just creeps me out more.

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So, some may ask, why? Why would I go psycho on this remake when I seemed to have given a pass on Texas Chainsaw and many other remakes that have been just as cookie cutter, Hollywood formula, insta-hits?

The answer is I’m SICK OF IT!

I had been duped into thinking this film was going to be a remake worthy of carrying the name of the original, but it wasn’t. Unfortunately, Hollywood will continue to drain our pockets by selling crap, wrapped in familiar packaging. I’m tired of seeing the movies I love get dragged through the mud by lame sequels and inferior remakes.

I had asked someone about Pumpkinhead the other day. She told me that she didn’t like those movies. Further investigation revealed that she NEVER SAW the original Pumpkinhead and her whole opinion of it was based on some lousy, cheap sequels. THE ORIGINAL is the only important one. And I couldn’t even convince her to watch it because her mind is made up, forever.

In no way am I saying the original Evil Dead 1981 is perfect and doesn’t have flaws. The difference is that it was so original when it came out, we didn’t have the time to think about the faults. We were just shell-shocked, amazed and in horrific wonderment at the spectacle. US horror films have lost all of their originality. The best stories, films, and ideas are coming from other countries these days. (France, Australia, New-Zealand, Asian countries)

Just give me something original, damn-it! Is that too much to ask?

Evil Dead (2013) – Movie Review – part II

Evil Dead (2013)  – Movie Review – part II

Aka: 50 reasons why the new Evil Dead Movie SUCKS! Part II

***This review is a total spoiler, please do not read if you intend to see the film. ***

This post contains Reasons 27 – 40, on why the new Evil Dead movie sucks!

If you haven’t read reasons 1 – 26, click here:
Evil Dead  Remake sucks reasons 1 – 26

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Okay, I had asked another reviewer, did it really need to be named, Evil Dead? My contention is that Hollywood loves to hijack branded names, just so they can make the biggest buck the quickest way possible and they don‘t even care if they are actual “remakes“ or have anything in common with the originals.

I think if Rob Zombie’s, Halloween was not named Halloween, a lot more people would have liked and respected it. With the Friday the 13^th remake, if you had changed the mask and didn’t call the camp grounds, “Crystal Lake” it could have been a brand new movie. On the other hand, War of the Worlds was definitely close to the book and could not have been called anything else. Same with Willard (both of which I thought were great remakes).

So, my reasons 27 – 33 are based on the decision to call this Evil Dead rather than, let’s say, Horror in the Woodlands, or something like that.

Did it really need to be called, Evil Dead?
The answer is… No!

The reasons to call it Evil Dead don’t hold up.

27) A cabin in the woods  – is in no less than 30 other horror movies.

28) The Necronomicon – is in no less than 18 movies. Besides they didn’t even call it the Necronomicon in this one.

29) Possessed women? At least 28 films have possessed women, many of which have been made in the last 10 years.

30) A Chainsaw? There’s at least 10 movies with the word ‘chainsaw’ in the title, alone!

31) Cut off your own arm? Even a non-horror film has that in it, ‘127 Hours.’

32) Evil entity in the woods – there’s a film every weekend on the Scy-Fy channel with this theme.

33) Pays homage to the first film – the movie Cabin In the Woods was a better tribute to the original Evil Dead than this remake.

 

Reasons 34 – 40 are comparisons to the original Evil Dead

Before I go on from here, we have to make a clear distinction between Evil Dead and Evil Dead II. The original Evil Dead was a more serious film with a straight forward horror style. It contained only two or three real ‘comedy gags’ in the whole film. (Ash does not cut off his hand in the 1^st film). ED II was more campy, funny and purposely leaning into dark comedy territory. If you have not seen the original Evil Dead in a while, it is time for a revisit. I watched it last night 🙂

34) The original Evil Dead had some serious atmosphere and suspense. The cabin, the mist, the dead trees all around the cabin delivered a foreboding, and you knew it was ‘wrong’ from the moment the group arrived. The new Evil Dead had NO atmosphere to speak of. Wanting to keep full tilt action in the remake also garnered very little actual suspense. Suspense is often created by the lull preceding a scary action or event and the anticipation of something about to happen.

35) Some claim the new Evil Dead is the goriest film they’ve ever seen. I think the original was gorier! Why? Pencil in the Achilles tendon, ‘nuff said!

36) Some claim the new Evil Dead was the bloodiest film. The original had Ash lop off his resurrected girlfriend’s head with a shovel and her body come to rest on top of him, squirting blood from her neck, right into his face! Blood from the rain doesn’t count, besides the band Slayer did that in live shows years ago!

37) The new one had a knot of tree branches crawl up Mia’s skirt. The original had a thick tree branch…uh… I can’t even talk about it. The whole scene in the original was just so much more disturbing.

38) The new one had a girl cutting her face with a piece of glass. The original had Ash stick his thumbs into a deadites eyes and all the way into its blood spewing skull.

39) The sound construction and composition in the original was half of the creepiness. The low hum as something unseen moved through the woods, the voices of the deadites, the jarring volume of slamming storm-shutters on the windows. All of these aspects made the original Evil Dead a better sounding film.

40) In the original, the deadite in the basement makes fun of the survivors – this to me is the ultimate evil, to have such a disregard for life that it would mock survivors – seems like something true evil would do. “I don’t wanna’ die! I don’t wanna’ die!”

Okay, hope ya’all enjoying this so far.
Tune in soon for my dramatic conclusion – reasons 41 thru 50

 

Evil Dead (2013) -Movie Review-part one

Evil Dead (2013)  – Movie Review
Aka: 50 reasons why the new Evil Dead Movie SUCKS!

***This review is a total spoiler, please do not read if you intend to see the film. ***

After reading some reviews I was actually getting excited and looking forward to this re-boot of the classic Evil Dead. What I was assured of was a more serious horror film than ED II, and one with no CGI, both aspects which I could embrace. I got the impression that I might see something really scary and frightening. What I got was a lot of gore which had the ability to create tension, make me squeamish, but was quickly forgotten once the scene was removed from my field of vision. I can get the same effect from cutting a worm in two or accidentally stepping on a slug in my bare feet.

Once again: SPOILER ALERT !

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First the good things:

The film managed to build tension, not because of suspense or atmosphere, but because of the gore and the squirm inducing actions of the possessed characters.

Good scenes:

Girl cuts off her own face with a broken mirror shard –  I was writhing in my seat knowing what she was doing and hearing the squishy sound of the whole event.

Other girl cuts off her arm with a meat carver/electric knife – This was well done in the special-effects department. Once again, the tendency was to turn away, but much like road kill, you wanted to see – to see how much they were gonna’ show. Then, when the guys run in to the room and her arm is hanging there by a few viscous threads of flesh and muscle… bravo. I’m sufficiently grossed out! (But they didn’t even show the whole event, why?)

The final scenes – high-action, thriller, sequences –  Our heroine stuck in a tight space between the walls as a huge machete punches through the wall at different intervals, coming ever closer to her face. Well done! But, not much different than we’ve seen in the newest Texas Chainsaw, (or 100 other films since Michael Myers began jabbing his knife though the closet door that Laurie Strode was hiding in.)

Ash’s Car is a junk car in the back of the cabin – Nice nod to the original.
 

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Okay, now the problems:

When I watch a film, I can excuse a few plot holes, incongruence’s, disconnects, and nonsensical things. For example, I own every Godzilla film ever made – you gotta’ have a lot of patience to enjoy some of them Godzilla flicks. But, when an otherwise serious film, made for adults, starts to stack up these inconsistencies, one-on-top-of-another, my belief in the film is lost – the plot, characters, and empathy with the situation collapses. A few of these and I would not have noticed. It was the mounting accumulation of them that ruined the film for me.

I hate to rain on you’re “praise of the new Evil Dead film” parade, but here goes…. (you’re not gonna’ like this!)

Hope you get a laugh out of some of these, I certainly did!

And now for my 50 reasons:

1) I have met and seen my share of drug addicts – there is no way a junkie is saving half a bag of smack so she can throw it down a well. That sh*t would have been done in in the car-ride on the way to the cabin!

2) I know these 20-somethings are on an important mission here, but they are a seriously miserable bunch of dreary-faces. None of them even cracks a smile, a joke, nothing… no wonder this poor girl does drugs!

3) Long-haired character dude is clearly upset and disturbed by the evidence of the black rituals that had taken place down the basement. He brings the ‘book’ upstairs, studies it, gets to a part that says, “Don’t read this,” and what does he do? He reads it …

4) Early in the film, the main character, Mia, crashes a car in a lake, gets out, and is then being chased by her possessed self. If she hasn’t been possessed yet, how is her possessed self chasing her???

5) Tree worm thing is a bit gross, but not all that scary.

6) They find Mia in the woods, bring her back to the cabin and are keeping a close eye on her. She is frightened/terrified. Her brother tells her to go take a shower, which she does. When exactly did she kill the dog with a hammer???

7) Need to make a possessed girl, just add boiling water – what book did that come from? I’ve been watching films, shows, and reading books, on witchcraft, spells, demon possessions and necromancy, for a lot of years and nowhere did it ever say, “Add boiling freaking’ water!”

8) Voice of possessed girl sounds like ‘Tickle Me Elmo’ taking a nasty dump! Not scary.

9) How many nails can you load into a nail gun, anyway?

10) Suddenly, there’s a huge roast beef for lunch, just so we can see it being carved with the electric carving knife. I call foul! Going to a cabin in the woods, you’re not bringing a giant roast beef – its hotdogs and burgers, man! and maybe some chicken! But that’s freakin’ it.

11) Everyone and everything is shooting each other with a nail gun. Nail Gun, Nail Gun, Nail Gun! When the brother goes to seal the cellar door, he uses a regular hammer!(wtf?)

12) When carving the roast, the carving blade is one size – carving off an arm, its suddenly 3x longer!

13) As long as you have duct tape, no one’s injuries mean anything. Stabbed in the heart? seal it with duct tape. Cut off an arm? seal it with duct tape. Sliced with a razor-knife, a broken mirror shard, seal it with duct tape. There, good as new, now lets go running around the cabin hunting possessed girlfriends.

14) Apparently, the brother’s job in Chicago gave him the knowledge of how to build a makeshift defibrillator using a car battery, jumper cables, two very large syringes (they’ve grown since seeing them earlier, too), and lots of duct tape.

15) The Brother empties the gas can all over the cabin to burn it down, two scenes later he shoots the (empty) gas can with a shotgun which blows up the cabin!

16) When 5 souls are collected, “the abomination” will rise from the ground. This was the biggest disappointment of the film. “The abomination”  was just another possessed dead body…that was easily killed with a chainsaw. (WTF!) that’s it? The Ultimate anti-climax.

17) Furthermore, there were not even 5 souls, If Mia was back to life, it still only had 4 souls. (can somebody please explain this fuzzy math!)

18) The intact necklace that Mia picks up at the end of the film was clearly broken to pieces several scenes earlier.

19) Mia is being chased by “the abomination” and is stuck in the tool shed. She picks up the chainsaw and there’s no gas in it. So, she bangs a shelf-unit with her foot and a small bottle of gas (it’s marked gas right on it in big letters) falls right into her hands. Foul! Hokey Hollywood cliché # 1!

20) If you got a big red gas can (see #15), why is there gas in a small water bottle, marked gas, out in the shed?

21) Mia gets her arm stuck under a tipped-over car. She pulls really, really hard and it breaks off, oh yeah? Tell that to James Franco – it took him 127 f***ing hours!

22) Now free from the offending car she was pinned under, she walks around like nothing happened and even has the sensibilities to make snarky comments at “the abomination”.

23) Hokey Hollywood cliché #2 – the climatic one-liner. Mia, before finally chopping “the abomination” in half with the chainsaw says, “Feast on this Mother F***er!” Really? That was tired when Clint Eastwood and Bruce Willis said it for the thousandth time in the early 1980’s (okay, they didn’t say those exact words but things very similar).

24) lets back track to the beginning. Bunch a hillbillies break into someone else’s cabin, set up a whole alter with hanging dead cats, and kill a girl (alright she was possessed) then leave behind all the evidence for someone else to find? Including the book that starts the whole mess in the 1^st place??? That’s hard to swallow.

25) They have a shower scene and the girl keeps all her clothes on!!! How do you f*ck up a shower scene???

26) They clean up and fix up the cabin for what seems like hours, but no one moved the throw rug? Suddenly the brother picks up the rug and dah-dah-dah! Gasp! There’s a cellar door, gulp.

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That’s reasons 1 thru 26, and I haven’t even compared it to the original… yet.

But I will, in my next installment of…
50 reasons why the new Evil Dead movie sucks! part II
(insert sinister laugh here)

Jack the Giant Slayer – 2013 – news

Jack the Giant Slayer  – 2013 – news
The new Jack the Giant Killer movie, which is now renamed Jack the Giant Slayer, will be released March 1^st 2013. Here’s some pics I grabbed from the internet.

 

And, I bet you didn’t know this, but here I am, in the movie!

Just joking, this was actually a very large display in the theater near me. It’s got to be the biggest in-theater display I’ve ever seen.

The Remake Scoreboard – More Classic horror remakes

The Remake Scoreboard – Horror movie remakes – the good and bad list and a few sentences why.

More Classic horror remakes

Fright Night (2011) (original 1985)
The original melodramatic horror/comedy hybrid about the paranoid teen who thinks his neighbor is a vampire is a favorite of anyone who lived through the 1980’s. Equal parts suspense, laughs and special FX, keeps me watching even to this day. When Peter Vincent, played sublimely by Rody McDowell, accidentally discovers Jerry Dandridge to be an actual vampire, (not seeing him in his mirror), it makes for a fantastic pivotal scene. The new one is not funny (not even “McLovin” can save the comedy aspect of this film), is not suspenseful, and is full of unrealistic decisions made by its characters. Plot holes are big enough to bury a vampire (movie) in.

I Spit On Your Grave (2010) (original 1978)
There should be no complaints about this remake, unless you just dislike the whole notion of remakes. I think this film is as good as the original. I don’t mind a remake if it is done well and this one is. The rape scene in this film is unnerving (as it was in the original) and leaves you with a dreadful feeling. It isn’t until the victim plots and executes her revenge that you can shake off that misery. And let me tell you, the revenge scenes in this remake are spectacularly horrifying and nasty. I may give the slight edge to the original, only because of the minimalist way it was filmed but if you were a fan of the original, or if you’re a fan of revenge driven horror, I would recommend that you see this one too.

Carnival of Souls (1998) (original 1962)
I was never a big fan of the original but found it entertaining in a low-budget, art house kind of style. I assumed the remake would close some of the plot holes and be a more coherent film. But at every turn this film asks us to believe nonsensical actions from its characters. Inane dialogue, horrible acting, miscasting with almost every character, and slow…put me to sleep, scenes that lead nowhere. How could such good concepts lead to this ill conceived, poorly executed dribble? Not even the (g-rated) sex-scene could get me interested. Boring!

Psycho (1998) (original 1960)
Director, Gus Van Sant, set out to film a shot-by-shot remake of the Alfred Hitchcock classic, adhering strictly to the script, right down to small details including framing and shot time-lengths. He kept the original score (re-recorded by Danny Elfman) which is really only one theme used at perfect times to really ramp up the tension. Anne Heche’ plays the part of Marion perfectly and has a great look for this modern retelling. And, while Vince Vaughn portrays Norman Bates to the smallest detail, including inflections and pauses in sentences, it is not the same as Perkins’s portrayal. Early in the film when Anthony Perkins lets out a small nervous chuckle, you feel the depth of his character. Not only do you feel the nervousness of talking to a beautiful woman, you also feel that he is hiding something terrible behind that innocent façade. Anthony Perkins is synonymous with Norman Bates character which makes the original version irreplaceable.

Last House on the Left (2009) (original 1972)
This remake was not bad at all. There were so many things that I did not like about the original: bad acting, plot holes, things not explained that should have been. The remake just makes more sense. It explained the bad guy’s motives and it made me empathized with the young kid that wanted no part of this nasty stuff. The revenge scenes by the parents were just as good (watch the unrated version for extra tidbits) and all the characters were totally believable.
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previous ‘remake scoreboard’ – Creature Features

  

 
 

  
  
 

The Remake Scoreboard – Creature Features

The Remake Scoreboard – Horror movie remakes – the good and bad list. Thumbs up or thumbs down and a few sentences why.

Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark (remake – 2011)
(original 1973)

This is a movie that should’ve been ripe for a remake. The original, made for TV movie, had a very low-key script with not much back story, and little special effects. Somehow that low-key film managed to be creepy as hell. In the remake, the protagonist was a ten-year-old girl instead of the wife, which should’ve made it even scarier. It wasn’t. The little girl was too brooding and dark for us empathize with her. It would have been much more effective if the girl was happy and when she moved into the house, the creatures turned her darker.  The mansion was too big and exotic for me to associate with my own life. IMO, This film missed its mark by a mile.

The Thing (2011)
(original 1951 & 1982)

While billed as a prequel, it may as well be viewed as a remake because, aside form the last 15 minutes, every aspect and plot point from the 1982 version is repeated in this film. The cold, the isolation, the human/monster test, the flamethrowers, the distrust & paranoia; all are aspects common to both films.  Aside from the finale, the digi-fx were kept to a minimum. I believe the realism in the effects (as opposed to other recent CGI laden films), is that they filmed the scenes with physical animatronics and props, and the CGI was only used to enhance the real props. Is it better than the previous two versions? No, not at all. But, it is entertaining with good suspense, gore, monster-fx, and thrills & chills. However, I do find it unneccesary. If you want to watch or own just one, go with the 1982 Carpenter version.

Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein (1994)
(original 1931)

Despite baring her name, this film is not true to Mary Shelley’s novel. To  differentiate the film from the Universal classic, the studio added the original author’s name to the title, but the film deviates quite a bit from the original story. (No-one can even give Frankie a flat-top head; it is a fiercely protected trademark by Universal.) This film is a combined hybrid of the original and “The Bride of…”. Kenneth Branagh plays a conflicted Doctor Victor Frankenstein, torn between his scientific obsession and his love, Elizabeth, played by Helena Bonham Carter. Robert DeNiro plays the Frankenstein monster, a fully self-aware, coherent, character, struggling to find his place in the world and his purpose in life. It is an exciting film filled with beautiful Victorian atmosphere and the philosophical concepts of life that made the original novel so powerful.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
(original 1956)

Even though the original is the classic paranoia, alien, quiet-invasion film, this remake has something strong going for it too. The incredibly real and likable characters portrayed by, Donald Sutherland, Brooke Adams and Jeff Goldblum are exceptional. You can’t help but root for their escape as the world goes mad around them. Coupled with some great special-effects, cinematography, and sound track (effects and music), the remake is a solid, must-see film. Some of the sound effects really get under your skin. I would be hard pressed to make a decision between the two, my suggestion would be to see them both.

The Wolfman (2010)
(original 1941)

I appreciate the nods to the classic here; the gypsy woman and the look of the Wolfman himself, but I think this film missed the mark of becoming a new classic. With Lon Chaney Jr. you had the sense of a deeply conflicted character harboring quite a bit of emotional pain. I think this remake tried too hard and tried to fit too much into the script. It never gave the viewer a sufficient chance to feel the torment of the man-turned-monster. Despite a great cast The Wolfman is just a good movie, not a great one IMO. It doesn’t compare to the elegance and success of Bram Stoker’s Dracula (1992) or, Mary Shelly‘s Frankenstein (1994).

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The Remake Scoreboard / Killers On The Loose

The Remake Scoreboard – Horror movie remakes – the good and bad list. Thumbs up or thumbs down and a few sentences why.
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Remakes: Killers On The Loose

Black Christmas (remake) (2006)
(original 1974)

The original film portrayed a creepy and suspenseful thriller that built to a nail biting climax. Likeable characters were harassed by an eerie voice on the phone and were dispatched, one by one, in the most extremely unpleasant methods imaginable. The new one is a closely scripted remake but fails to capture the atmosphere, intensity, and character likeability that make the original so good. About half way through the film I was completely disengaged from the story and just wished everyone would DIE already, because I was bored to tears!

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When a Stranger Calls (remake) (2006)
(original 1979)

Aside from the ‘he’s in the house’ scene, this remake has a totally different script. The famous scene in the original, where the babysitter is on the phone with the killer while the police trace it – only to find that the call is coming from inside the very house – is still talked about as one of the great terror inducers in film history. However, if you remember the film in detail, aside from the opening and closing scenes (approx. 10 minutes of film time) the rest of the movie was a detective /homicide investigation movie, and a rather dull one. The remake has a babysitter in an elaborate home, being tormented by a killer, and all the events take place during the course of one night. It will never be famous in filmmaking history, but it is entertaining, nevertheless.

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My Bloody Valentine (remake – 2009)
(original 1981)

This remake is close enough to the original that no one should get riled over the new version. The fact is, the original, being a very good film, never gained the status of other films released during the same time period. Halloween, the iconic slasher film, stayed in the theaters for several years. Alien, The Shining, Friday the 13^th, The Amityville Horror, and The Evil Dead were films released between ‘78 and ‘81. I tend to think that Valentine never got the credit it deserved because of all these great films. The miner, fully masked, with goggles and the light atop his head, coming at you with a pick-axe, is really a threatening horror image. The fact is, the remake is so similar to the original, it’s a toss up on which one to see. There is probably no need to own them both. Pick one and enjoy!

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House of Wax (remake – 2005)
(original 1953)

This is like comparing apples and oranges. This new version has your all-star “in-crowd” actors and hot-shorts wearing ‘a-list’ actresses, prancing around and flirting with the camera until they are finally killed off. That’s not to say I don’t like it, because it has its shining moments. But consider the Vincent Price character, plotting and striking revenge upon the socialites and businessmen that ignored and never appreciated his works of art and you will see a stark difference. The 1953 version has a great story and plot – the remake has nice scenery.

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Willard (remake – 2003)
(original 1972)

If you are familiar with the 1972 version you will remember a gentle Willard befriending some rats that his bed-ridden mother insisted be dispatched by whatever means possible. The film took quite long to develop and Willard’s anger and revenge was a brief flash, for which he seemed instantly remorseful. With Crispin Glover taking on the role as Willard, we have a much darker, brooding film with a gothic vibe and an instantly believable crossover of Willard from the meek outcast to the vicious psychotic king of the rats. You want to cheer for him but at the same time it disgusts you. This remake is definitely the stronger of the two films.

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The Remake Scoreboard / Classic Sci-fi Films

The Remake Scoreboard – Horror movie remakes – the good and bad list. Thumbs up or thumbs down and a few sentences why.
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Remakes: Classic Sci-fi films

War of the Worlds (remake – 2005)
(original 1953)

Only Steven Spielberg could remake this 50’s sci-fi classic and do it justice. Great attention to detail was used in making this film and there is not one moment while I watched that I thought, this looks like CGI. The initial rise from the underground of the first tripod craft was amazing, as well as the Hudson River, Ferry Crossing scene. There was so much I liked about this film, from the look of the crafts, which were closer to the descriptions given in H.G. Wells’ original story, to the sound the tripods made, a sort of battle cry, inducing us humans to run for cover. This is my favorite sci-fi movie since 2000. I own it and watch it often!

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The Blob (remake – 1988)
(original 1958)

This is a very good remake with likable characters played by Kevin Dillon and Shawnee Smith. The film also featured some great special FX, thankfully made before the days of CGI, which portray the agile and quick moving amoeba-like creature, swallowing and digesting its human prey. Great story, excellently paced, a remake worth seeing.

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The Day the Earth Stood Still (remake – 2008)
(original 1951)

This is a near faithful remake in color. That is not necessarily a good thing, the black and white of the original just made everything seem more menacing. The film starts off well enough with interesting events taking place and some great imagery. About a third of the way through, it becomes a chore to watch as the pacing gets bogged down in a tangle of social issues that seem unnecessary. Do yourself a favor, just stick with the original!

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Planet of the Apes (remake – 2001)
(original 1968)

Firstly, there is no touching Charlton Heston’s pinnacle performance as ‘Taylor’ in the original 1968, mind-bomb. The original was laced with a myriad of allegory and thought-provoking social issues. The final scene with the half-submerged, Statue of Liberty is one of the great moments in all film history. The new one had some great looking apes but not much else.

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Godzilla (remake – 1999)
(original 1956)

Most fans were not happy with Roland Emmerich’s version of the Iguana-inspired Godzilla. However, there were a couple of things I did like about the film. Godzilla’s first landfall in NYC at the South-Street Seaport and subsequent march through the NYC streets was impressive, mostly because it was filmed from street level, a person’s POV looking upward, rather than from straight-on as most ‘Zilla films are shot. I also liked the Helicopter chase scene as the fast moving Godzilla dodged and darted missiles and gunfire. But the film is also riddled with Hollywood hokey-ness that makes it difficult to watch. The car chase scene was ridiculous and the hundreds of eggs in MSG were too far-fetched to be believable. You would be much better off, sticking to the original.

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