Middle of the Road – film reviews
Monsters Dark Continent
Here’s some film reviews of horror movies that weren’t bad and weren’t great, just somewhere in the middle. They are all quite watchable, it’s just that none have completely blown me away. On my dark star rating scale they all probably hover around 3 stars for different reasons.
Monsters Dark Continent – 2015
Before you attempt to watch this, there is something you will have to understand. This is a war movie that has monsters in it, not the other way around. It’s not a bad movie at all, but it’s just somewhat disappointing for a monster movie fan. It’s right there with Hurt Locker, Zero Dark Thirty, and They Were Soldiers, bringing to light the big questions of our recent wars and it does tug at the heart strings. A group of young men from Detroit, facing a jobless and hopeless future are called into duty. In the combat zone they meet the older seasoned soldiers who attempt to set them on the right path. The few scenes of the nomad desert monsters are fantastic, they are beautiful creatures and quite enormous. However they are more like the backdrop of this film and more symbolic than anything else.
The Damned – 2014 (Gallows Hill)
This is a decent Spanish film about a young reporter in South America whose father (and new GF) convinces her to return home in time for his wedding. They are traveling the back roads of Bogata when a storm and a flash flood hits, toppling their SUV and stranding them at an old house in the country. The owner is reluctant to let them in, but seeing their desperation decides he has no choice. When they settle in, they discover the man has a ten-year-old-girl captive down the cellar. The visitors let her out and open a Pandora’s Box by doing so. I know the plot sounds familiar but it is presented in a way that seems fresh and captured my interest. The girl holds the spirit of a centuries old witch bent on exacting revenge upon the townspeople of the nearby village and destroying anyone who gets in the way.
Iron Sky (2012)
The Nazi regime has survived and have retreated to the dark side of the moon. They have waited over 70 years for a rematch and have been working on new weaponry to ensure they will win. There’s a good ‘what if’ story here, some good humor, and original ideas. The plot and pacing are excellent and the film ramps up to some wonderful high action. There are some spectacular aircraft (and spacecraft) dog-fight scenes in the climax of this flick, worth watching for the special effects fans out there. The Nazi invasion from space has begun, but can our reluctant hero save the day? Yeah, it’s all sorts of politically incorrect but it’s a comedy folks, don‘t be offended.
If you go into this with low expectations you can enjoy this film for exactly what it is, a campy b-monster flick with some young women parading around in bikinis (and sometimes not in bikinis). It’s the Roger Corman formula for b-movie horror. Not much story depth here, not so great acting, and the monster beavers look like angry Muppets, but enjoyable light horror and humor despite these aspects.