Bad Dog! Gotta’ put ‘em down! – movie reviews

A list of bad movies I’ve seen recently:

I was wondering why I have reviewed so little movies recently, despite the fact that I watch 2 or 3 movies per week. Then I realized that not many of them are any good. They’re not bad enough to motivate me into a tirade but not good enough to inspire me to write about them. Anyways, here’s the list, and the skinny on each film.

Just to be warned, the DVD box covers and posters are scarier than the films. Naturally, this is just my opinion, actual results may vary.

Hollow (2012)
There is no reason for it to be a found footage film; the story could have been told more effectively without all the shaky camera and POV. Even among FF films it was sub-par – the shots cut every 8 seconds – are you telling me someone videotaping is going to have that many cuts in their footage? No way! There is a giant old tree with a legend/back-story on this young woman’s family property – something about the spirit in the tree makes people commit suicide. I wanted to commit suicide about halfway through this movie.

Intruders (2012)
This started out decent, a reaper looking entity stalking a young boy in his apartment in Spain. Then we switch to a family in England and a little girl seeing the same entity. Then the film switches back and forth a half dozen times between these two stories with no explanation. The suspense and creepiness established in the 1st scene falls by the wayside… so does my patience. Didn’t get to the end. Fell asleep, then turned it off. Never looked back.

Let Me In (2010)
A young boy, who is often bullied, is befriended by a vampire girl. I don’t see what is so great about this story. It was more like a Sunday afternoon movie about first loves than anything horror. So the girl has a bad habit of killing people and drinking their blood? Don’t we all have some bad habits? How many inane vampire stories can I tolerate! Let me OUT!

Dread (2009)
This film took quite a bit of time to make you familiar with some likeable characters, just to chop ’em all up and destroy them at the end. The thing about torture movies like Hostel and I Spit on Your Grave, that makes them worth watching, is the victim/hero finally gets revenge in the end, and we cheer when the sadist/torturer meets his demise. The ending of this film was just too dismal and after all that time (over an hour) of character development, the ending just doesn’t pay off. The dread comes when you realize you spent nearly 2 hrs. watching this dreadful movie.

The Presence (2010)
If I wanted lingering shots of the countryside lake and the beautiful wooded cabin interior, I would have watched some vacation/holiday home videos. A ghost appears but just stands there. He doesn’t look like a ghost – he looks like a person. He never does anything, am I supposed to be scared? The woman’s boyfriend shows up at the cabin, they argue, they bicker. They bore me to death – maybe I’m a ghost now.