The 5 Worst Horror Remakes
Remakes, reboots, whatever you want to call it, it’s all the same.
Naturally, for Hollywood, the only reason for a remake is $$$$. Selling tickets without having to do the work of promoting it because us horror fans are dumb and we’ll buy anything that sounds familiar.
To reiterate:
To me, there are only three reasons to do a remake.
1 – special effects improvements – advancements in film and effects technology will make the film visually appealing to a modern audience.
2 – expand the storyline – modernizing a film and bring it to date with the moods, opinions, and conscience of the changing world views.
3 – make a better film – an old b-movie can often be remade into a summer blockbuster or serious representative of its genre.
The following films failed on all counts!
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The 5 Worst horror movie Remakes of all time:
1 – The Fog (2005) – total garbage, waste of plastic.
2 – Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) – this isn’t even as good as the TV series… and that sucked!
3 – Planet of the Apes (2001) – Good looking apes, I’ll give you that, but not nearly as powerful as the original with its allegory sentiments and mind-blowing surprises.
4 – Texas Chainsaw 3D – (2013) – Leatherface, the hero? Give me a f***ing break!
5 – Evil Dead (2013) – one big giant plot-hole dunked in a sh*t hole.
Dishonorable mentions:
Carnival of Souls (1998) – Incoherent drivel!
Fright Night (2013) – ooh, more sparkly vampires! Just what we needed.
Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark (2011) – Boring, snooze-fest.
(click on dvd covers to see reviews in original posts)
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But that is not the end folks, Hollywood has planned or is in production for the following remakes and reboots in the coming year(s):
Cujo
Beetlejuice
Chucky / Child’s Play
The Crow
Gremlins
Poltergeist
Weird Science
Suspiria
An American Werewolf in London
Angel Heart
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
It
Jacobs Ladder
Rosemary’s Baby
Scanners
The Changeling
Creature From The Black Lagoon
The Entity
The Gate
The Fly
The Monster Squad
Videodrome
Pet Sematary
Mad Max
The Orphanage
Barbarella
WarGames
The Birds
Escape From New York
Westworld
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